dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Duck Duck Cougar?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
