Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
