I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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