Well douche your snatch and let's go!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
