It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
