ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Bring me that man meat
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
