This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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