Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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