I faked an abortion last night.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
