Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
