so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
