theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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