Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
