I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
