how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
