I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
