so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
