I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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