I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
