It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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