Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
