Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
