I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
