Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
