My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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