Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
