just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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