whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
