do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
