He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
