Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Someone signed my nipple.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
