So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
