The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
