just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
