So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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