I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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