if you like me you must not know who I am
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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