at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
