Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
