Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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