I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
