I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
