peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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