found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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