fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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