your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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