I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
