What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
