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why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
