Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
