so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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